[Children's Spirituality Chpt 13 "A Child's Concept of God" by Joyce E. Bellous , Simone A. de Roos (author of Educating Faith: An Approach to Christian Formation), and William Summey - an international team of authors.]
This may be the mother lode of this particular article:
As a child, our sense of self grows from the gaze of our primary caregiver. "If the child perceives itself as wonderful and worthy in [the eyes of his/her primary caregiver] life is good...the child can relax...[If] the image formed is of a bad child, if the child has not been able to fulfill the conditions that inhere in the narrative parents told themselves about the child before its birth, there is likely to be a conflict of being. The child senses that what is wrong is not what the child does but what he or she is. The child can not please parents or his or her God except by becoming a different sort of person . . . the child can never relax." (p. 207)
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
more thoughts c. Chapter 13
[Children's Spirituality Chpt 13 "A Child's Concept of God" by Joyce E. Bellous , Simone A. de Roos (author of Educating Faith: An Approach to Christian Formation), and William Summey - an international team of authors.This is a fascinating chapter. ]
More ideas to ponder:
"...God-concepts are personal rather than accurate. They are made from primary experience." (p. 216) We want to give children the words (language) and skills to articulate their own thoughts and ideas but also to observe "what the scriptures reveal about God through the person and works of Christ".
Question: Does religious education actually do this or does it give us language or boxes that we must somehow fit our own experience into?
"God concepts may be repressed or transformed but they do not go away."(p. 204) yet "Having a concept of God is different than having a personal relationship with God." ( p. 213)
They have a very good section addressing Christian educators who use the old (I hope) image of self or God "on the throne." : "It is not by casting one's self off the 'heart's throne' that maturity begins. Rather, obtaining a fresh and enlivened vision of God's own Self enables people to grow up in the faith...revised in light of scripture, communal knowledge, self-examination, and experiencing God 'face to face'. . ." The authors say that unless this happens "God concepts are merely products of imagination." (p. 215) Scary!
"The working out of identity is a conversation." (emotionally charged-rich in meaning- conversation). (p. 216) We need other people in order to know ourselves.
"Religious educators are wise if they treat children differently depending on the God concept that is already formed in a child's mind. . ." "the task of teaching religion to children demands exquisite attention to the experience of the child as well as to what [teachers present to children]" (p. 207)
Question: How do we connect the God of scripture with the God a child "knows" whether their God-concept is accurate or inaccurate? Is it for us to do or is it enough to present the Word, enter into discussion and let a child wrestle with the ways their ideas about God and their experience collide?
The authors say that for faith to survive, children (and adults) have to wrestle everytime they experience an emotional or developmental crisis. They are trying to mesh what they thought they knew of God with their experiences and expectations of God and the outside world.
One of the wonderful things about this book is the way these faith-filled scientists find that their observations help them make sense of scripture and visa versa. Not fudging their faith. Not fudging real science (their observations of all that God has made).
More ideas to ponder:
"...God-concepts are personal rather than accurate. They are made from primary experience." (p. 216) We want to give children the words (language) and skills to articulate their own thoughts and ideas but also to observe "what the scriptures reveal about God through the person and works of Christ".
Question: Does religious education actually do this or does it give us language or boxes that we must somehow fit our own experience into?
"God concepts may be repressed or transformed but they do not go away."(p. 204) yet "Having a concept of God is different than having a personal relationship with God." ( p. 213)
They have a very good section addressing Christian educators who use the old (I hope) image of self or God "on the throne." : "It is not by casting one's self off the 'heart's throne' that maturity begins. Rather, obtaining a fresh and enlivened vision of God's own Self enables people to grow up in the faith...revised in light of scripture, communal knowledge, self-examination, and experiencing God 'face to face'. . ." The authors say that unless this happens "God concepts are merely products of imagination." (p. 215) Scary!
"The working out of identity is a conversation." (emotionally charged-rich in meaning- conversation). (p. 216) We need other people in order to know ourselves.
"Religious educators are wise if they treat children differently depending on the God concept that is already formed in a child's mind. . ." "the task of teaching religion to children demands exquisite attention to the experience of the child as well as to what [teachers present to children]" (p. 207)
Question: How do we connect the God of scripture with the God a child "knows" whether their God-concept is accurate or inaccurate? Is it for us to do or is it enough to present the Word, enter into discussion and let a child wrestle with the ways their ideas about God and their experience collide?
The authors say that for faith to survive, children (and adults) have to wrestle everytime they experience an emotional or developmental crisis. They are trying to mesh what they thought they knew of God with their experiences and expectations of God and the outside world.
One of the wonderful things about this book is the way these faith-filled scientists find that their observations help them make sense of scripture and visa versa. Not fudging their faith. Not fudging real science (their observations of all that God has made).
"neccessary"
...for your idea box. . .
Friday night was the last House Blend until fall. George wanted us to ponder "neccessary" (Mt.1 6:21-27 and 1 Cor 12.) Able was the only little person who came. The plan for the kids was to have a puzzle on the table with all the pieces except one (the neccessary one to finish the picture) and more puzzles to keep them occupied. Tracey and Abel found the puzzles but I forgot to tell her why the piece was missing. (Sorry, Tracey!)
Friday night was the last House Blend until fall. George wanted us to ponder "neccessary" (Mt.1 6:21-27 and 1 Cor 12.) Able was the only little person who came. The plan for the kids was to have a puzzle on the table with all the pieces except one (the neccessary one to finish the picture) and more puzzles to keep them occupied. Tracey and Abel found the puzzles but I forgot to tell her why the piece was missing. (Sorry, Tracey!)
Sunday, May 28, 2006
A Child's Concept of God: Relationships
Children's Spirituality Chpt 13 "A Child's Concept of God" by Joyce E. Bellous , Simone A. de Roos (author of Educating Faith: An Approach to Christian Formation), and William Summey - an international team of authors.
Research shows that a child's self-concept is distinctly tied to a child's God-concept. As it turns out self-esteem, self-concept, God-concept and concepts that children have of others are all interrelated. "Parents, teachers, significant others, as well as salient things (e.g., church buildings, television programs) are influential in constructing a child's expectation that God is dependable, good and kind (or the opposite...) whether or not the child has formal religious training."(p. 204)]
However incomplete, language is an important element for people searching for evidence of faith in children. It's interesting that with or without religious training, children do, in fact, find language to articulate what we would consider faith. Apparently when they need the words, they will find the words.
Relationships are important to children. God made us that way. Faith in God is relational. He walked with Adam in the garden. He came to find us. Maybe this relational side of God makes it easier for kids to find the words they need?
1) Our own perception of God, 2) how we as parents (and other adults) relate to our children, 3) how we perceive other people in our attitude and behaviour all affect how children see God and how they see themselves but flip that.
Especially when they're little, children and how they perceive life and God and people also give us clues about ourselves and about God - not just what we're imparting to them but when they smile at you and touch you and love you I think Jesus is loving you. The kingdom of heaven belongs to them. We can give to one another, receive from one another, and grow in our knowledge of God together.
Research shows that a child's self-concept is distinctly tied to a child's God-concept. As it turns out self-esteem, self-concept, God-concept and concepts that children have of others are all interrelated. "Parents, teachers, significant others, as well as salient things (e.g., church buildings, television programs) are influential in constructing a child's expectation that God is dependable, good and kind (or the opposite...) whether or not the child has formal religious training."(p. 204)]
However incomplete, language is an important element for people searching for evidence of faith in children. It's interesting that with or without religious training, children do, in fact, find language to articulate what we would consider faith. Apparently when they need the words, they will find the words.
Relationships are important to children. God made us that way. Faith in God is relational. He walked with Adam in the garden. He came to find us. Maybe this relational side of God makes it easier for kids to find the words they need?
1) Our own perception of God, 2) how we as parents (and other adults) relate to our children, 3) how we perceive other people in our attitude and behaviour all affect how children see God and how they see themselves but flip that.
Especially when they're little, children and how they perceive life and God and people also give us clues about ourselves and about God - not just what we're imparting to them but when they smile at you and touch you and love you I think Jesus is loving you. The kingdom of heaven belongs to them. We can give to one another, receive from one another, and grow in our knowledge of God together.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Parent/child communication (from Children's Spirituality)
Children's Spirituality Chapter 12 "The Co-Construction of Spiritual Meaning in Parent-Child Communication." (Chris J. Boyatzis)
That's a mouthful and this may be a little too academic, but think about how your conversations with your child affect his/her faith and spiritual formation.
Boyatzis says, "Parents have a scriptural call to search for the sacred all day and night, in all contexts." (p 183) "When Moses told his people to talk with their children about faith and God throughout the day and in various settings, Moses was also unwittingly telling researchers where to look for a crucial context of spiritual socialization and growth. (p. 196)
From my perspective, we need children as much as they need us. I think "co-construction of spiritual meaning" suggests that parents and children are both building together at the same time. As adults, we teach and train our children yet we must become as children to enter the kingdom. How can we do that if we aren't around them? If we don't learn from them? Not only parents, but adults and children need each other.
Some parents and children journey together listening to one another, asking and answering questions together, building together. Some parents approach parenting as spiritual experts and expect their children to sit at their feet, listen, learn, and obey. And there's all degrees in between, depending on the situation. Parents and children have distinct conversation styles, learning styles, teaching styles. Does our communication style affect the faith of our children? Do their questions and answers affect our faith? How? We had a short but profound conversation with one of our kids recently. Her observations about the affects of our faith on our parenting and how it affects the expression of her faith were profound.
"Unfortunately, an assumption that pervades the social science literature is that such exchanges [parent child religious discussions] feature a unidirectional parent-to-child transmission of religious beliefs and practices..." Boyatzis] gives an example: a father initiates a conversation with a child and it largely consists of "test" questions in order to determine what the child knows with mild corrections. But, she says, in this kind of conversation the child is more apt to be passive not active in the "religious socialization" process. (p. 183)
The alternative? Parents and children growing together and working together to make sense of their faith. She likens this to "cultivation" as opposed to "indoctrination." "Mutual exchange" as opposed to a predominantly one-sided conversation. (p. 183-184))
Some of their questions (p. 194-6), pending more research but interesting to think about from personal experience ie. conversations between you and your parents or you and your children:
1) "[T]o what degree does parent-child communication. . . influence the spiritual growth of children? parents ?
2) How does the conversational style we choose reflect our beliefs? How does it affect our beliefs?
3) To what degree do parents see their role as "sacred" or "holy" ? Would this lend itself to more give and take in conversation or less?
4) Do you use different communication styles for different topics? different aged children? different gender to gender? Many studies show that children talk more with their mothers than fathers about religion-related topics and have more intimate conversations with mothers. (p.186) Is this only when mothers are more available or does it also occur as often when fathers are more available?
5) To what degree does parental conviction or uncertainty direct or affect communication? Some children (and adults) need communication with a distinct sense of closure. Some do better with open-ended discussions. Some deal better with fact, some with possibilities.
6) Does a child's religious style and orientation continue through adulthood?
7) How does childhood experience affect adult spirituality?
8) How do parents influence the spiritual growth of their children? How do children influence the spiritual growth of their parents?
Research to date reveals children to be spiritually active, not blank tablets waiting for the rest of us to write on them. Having once been children, we know that. We don't really know what we're writing on our own children unless we're watching, listening, and sharing conversation.
That's a mouthful and this may be a little too academic, but think about how your conversations with your child affect his/her faith and spiritual formation.
Boyatzis says, "Parents have a scriptural call to search for the sacred all day and night, in all contexts." (p 183) "When Moses told his people to talk with their children about faith and God throughout the day and in various settings, Moses was also unwittingly telling researchers where to look for a crucial context of spiritual socialization and growth. (p. 196)
From my perspective, we need children as much as they need us. I think "co-construction of spiritual meaning" suggests that parents and children are both building together at the same time. As adults, we teach and train our children yet we must become as children to enter the kingdom. How can we do that if we aren't around them? If we don't learn from them? Not only parents, but adults and children need each other.
Some parents and children journey together listening to one another, asking and answering questions together, building together. Some parents approach parenting as spiritual experts and expect their children to sit at their feet, listen, learn, and obey. And there's all degrees in between, depending on the situation. Parents and children have distinct conversation styles, learning styles, teaching styles. Does our communication style affect the faith of our children? Do their questions and answers affect our faith? How? We had a short but profound conversation with one of our kids recently. Her observations about the affects of our faith on our parenting and how it affects the expression of her faith were profound.
"Unfortunately, an assumption that pervades the social science literature is that such exchanges [parent child religious discussions] feature a unidirectional parent-to-child transmission of religious beliefs and practices..." Boyatzis] gives an example: a father initiates a conversation with a child and it largely consists of "test" questions in order to determine what the child knows with mild corrections. But, she says, in this kind of conversation the child is more apt to be passive not active in the "religious socialization" process. (p. 183)
The alternative? Parents and children growing together and working together to make sense of their faith. She likens this to "cultivation" as opposed to "indoctrination." "Mutual exchange" as opposed to a predominantly one-sided conversation. (p. 183-184))
Some of their questions (p. 194-6), pending more research but interesting to think about from personal experience ie. conversations between you and your parents or you and your children:
1) "[T]o what degree does parent-child communication. . . influence the spiritual growth of children? parents ?
2) How does the conversational style we choose reflect our beliefs? How does it affect our beliefs?
3) To what degree do parents see their role as "sacred" or "holy" ? Would this lend itself to more give and take in conversation or less?
4) Do you use different communication styles for different topics? different aged children? different gender to gender? Many studies show that children talk more with their mothers than fathers about religion-related topics and have more intimate conversations with mothers. (p.186) Is this only when mothers are more available or does it also occur as often when fathers are more available?
5) To what degree does parental conviction or uncertainty direct or affect communication? Some children (and adults) need communication with a distinct sense of closure. Some do better with open-ended discussions. Some deal better with fact, some with possibilities.
6) Does a child's religious style and orientation continue through adulthood?
7) How does childhood experience affect adult spirituality?
8) How do parents influence the spiritual growth of their children? How do children influence the spiritual growth of their parents?
Research to date reveals children to be spiritually active, not blank tablets waiting for the rest of us to write on them. Having once been children, we know that. We don't really know what we're writing on our own children unless we're watching, listening, and sharing conversation.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)