First thought) Emerging Parents Home page is here. I think the other link just takes you to the Children's Ministry discussion. Lots of interesting discussion and resources. And, do you know what else? If you're working in the area of Children's Ministry but you're from another generation or you're not a parent yet, you'll be hearing some of the voices of a new generation. Whatever generation you're serving, listening is important.
Second Thought) Vision is a funny thing: Some people can see the present through the eyes of the past and understand how events and choices have shaped today. They might say, "Don't go this way." People who see through microscopes see things that most people will never see and don't care. They know about invisible pathogens. Some people are really good at seeing where we are on the map today (the good and the bad). Some people see where we're going. Some people see all the wild things along the path, even if they're camoflaged. Some people know where each of the different trails will lead, which path to take and the most efficient or fastest way to get there. Different seers needed in different situations.
Take some time each month to check out Emerging Parents and put on their glasses for a few minutes. Take time to listen to the parents you work with.
Thought 3) As I'm reading the last chapter of Children Matter , if you are professional or a volunteer and you're at all frustrated working with church leadership, parents or volunteers, I think you'll find lots of wisdom in this chapter about strong leadership, service, and doing one without losing the other.
Somehow, these three thoughts are connected . . . I think . . .
Showing posts with label CHMT. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CHMT. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
CM: in Leadership (a couple of quotes)
As expected, Children Matter "in Leadership" is full of wisdom. There's much to learn from stories about choices made in the midst of trying situations. If you need to be encouraged and want to feel like someone understands, this is the chapter to read. And, as always, they ask such great questions!!
Two quotes for you - tiny straws in a haystack (as opposed to capturing the heart of the chapter.)
"...children's ministry has the potential to affect the climate of an entire congregation." [CM p. 331]
"...in the absence of genuine feedback, many volunteers typically assume that they are doing an inadequate job." [CM p. 332]
Useful lists, goals, and questions. Insightful!
Two quotes for you - tiny straws in a haystack (as opposed to capturing the heart of the chapter.)
"...children's ministry has the potential to affect the climate of an entire congregation." [CM p. 331]
"...in the absence of genuine feedback, many volunteers typically assume that they are doing an inadequate job." [CM p. 332]
Useful lists, goals, and questions. Insightful!
Monday, February 04, 2008
CM: Leadership (slightly revised)
Children matter in leadership - the last chapter of Children Matter.
The chapter opens, "Many persons who love children and sense a strong call to minister with them are dismayed to discover that extensive administration is required of the children's pastor. Those who learn to creatively guide ministry planning and empower a team of volunteers, however, experience great joy as they watch increasingly effective ministry with children unfold." [CM p. 330] This is a chapter looking at a seasoned children's pastor, principles, and strategies.
It's that word "administration." I think leadership driven by passion for God and compassion for children(and the people around them) and a heart to see and serve and listen and hear is a most difficult job. It's the business edge that I have a hard time with. I understand the need for great communication and for things to run safely and smoothly for large groups of people. But I think, at this point in time, I have no heart for the business of church or group politics. A friend of mine once said, if you don't like group politics, you must not like groups. And I thought (in my late 40's). Oh, that's why I don't like groups. People who lead children's ministries (or any ministry) and do it well deserve all the kudos and respect in the world. Kudos!! I've raised kids, babysat, I've taught different things to different ages, volunteered in every area of kids and church including VBS and summer camp. (Ok, I got paid at summer camp.) I helped a young church start the process of implementing some very different ideas for children's ministry but I think I'm a facilitator, not a leader.
I'm going to read this last chapter of the book anyway. 22 pages. Join me if you want. We'll sit at the feet of a professional. Maybe I'll find something else to think about on paper.
When you're done reading books, if you want to learn, find a seasoned expert that you respect, whether they have a degree or not. Find someone nearby. Sit at his/her feet. Follow him around. Pester him/her with questions. He/she may never write a book and they definitely won't live forever. It doesn't have to be Children's Ministry. Whatever you're willing to learn by following, interacting, (obeying) and imitating. Apprenticeship, discipleship (for lack of better describers) is a different kind of learning - sadly lacking in our culture but as a form of education it's tried and true. It's passed the test of time. It's more than a how to, there's an impartation that happens. But that's a separate post. . .
Check out the Bibliography and the index of scriptures in Children Matter, too.
Selah!
I hope this book stays in print for a very very long time!!
The chapter opens, "Many persons who love children and sense a strong call to minister with them are dismayed to discover that extensive administration is required of the children's pastor. Those who learn to creatively guide ministry planning and empower a team of volunteers, however, experience great joy as they watch increasingly effective ministry with children unfold." [CM p. 330] This is a chapter looking at a seasoned children's pastor, principles, and strategies.
It's that word "administration." I think leadership driven by passion for God and compassion for children(and the people around them) and a heart to see and serve and listen and hear is a most difficult job. It's the business edge that I have a hard time with. I understand the need for great communication and for things to run safely and smoothly for large groups of people. But I think, at this point in time, I have no heart for the business of church or group politics. A friend of mine once said, if you don't like group politics, you must not like groups. And I thought (in my late 40's). Oh, that's why I don't like groups. People who lead children's ministries (or any ministry) and do it well deserve all the kudos and respect in the world. Kudos!! I've raised kids, babysat, I've taught different things to different ages, volunteered in every area of kids and church including VBS and summer camp. (Ok, I got paid at summer camp.) I helped a young church start the process of implementing some very different ideas for children's ministry but I think I'm a facilitator, not a leader.
I'm going to read this last chapter of the book anyway. 22 pages. Join me if you want. We'll sit at the feet of a professional. Maybe I'll find something else to think about on paper.
When you're done reading books, if you want to learn, find a seasoned expert that you respect, whether they have a degree or not. Find someone nearby. Sit at his/her feet. Follow him around. Pester him/her with questions. He/she may never write a book and they definitely won't live forever. It doesn't have to be Children's Ministry. Whatever you're willing to learn by following, interacting, (obeying) and imitating. Apprenticeship, discipleship (for lack of better describers) is a different kind of learning - sadly lacking in our culture but as a form of education it's tried and true. It's passed the test of time. It's more than a how to, there's an impartation that happens. But that's a separate post. . .
Check out the Bibliography and the index of scriptures in Children Matter, too.
Selah!
I hope this book stays in print for a very very long time!!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
CM: Children Matter
Opening Chapter 14 of Children Matter: "In the Gospels we see that Jesus pays special attention to people on the margins. He notices people whom others would rather avoid*." (CM p. 311)
"This chapter [chapter 14] will focus on some concerns related to ministry to hurting children and will explore ways to make sure that the church is a sanctuary and a place of welcome for all children." (CM p. 311)
They look at physical, attitude, program, and other barriers that leaders face as they try to draw marginalized children into the faith community. They mention physical, emotional, and learning challenges. They talk about classroom management. They talk about children with special needs, refugees, children at risk. They remind us [and this is important] that every child comes with gifts to share. This chapter is full of inspirational examples and ideas but I see it less a how-to and more a wonderful and inspiring tool for attitude adjustment. Their wise deep-hearted caring is contagious. And as usual, I love their stories.
At the end of the chapter they say, "...we need to be intentional about offering sanctuary to them [children], about providing a place that not only is safe but feels safe to all children- a place where each child can grow to be the person God created him or her to be." [CM p. 329] Their emphasis on the child him/herself feeling safe requires that we see all that we do through a child's eyes. This is far more important than most of us think. I'm not talking about coddling that disables or tolerating hurtful behavior/lack of self-control or catering to self-centeredness.
When a child has a problem, have we taken the time to see it through their eyes? Will we take the time to lead them away from the ideas that keep them prisoner and lead them to higher ground? It isn't enough for us to stand convinced that we have a state of the art facility or a fool-proof policy or a crackerjack program. It isn't enough unless every child feels safe, loved, and cared for when they walk through the door. Not from our perspective but from theirs.
It isn't enough unless every child is enabled and equipped to become all that God created him/her to be. Not for our perspective, but from theirs. They won't put it in those terms. They'll just be happy!!
The authors are focusing on very special needs in this chapter but what they're saying applies to any child who feels out of place or marginalized. It's hard to be so attuned to individual children when your numbers increase but as your numbers increase the discreet attention to individuals that they're talking about is probably even more important.
*Resource: The authors reference a book by Stewart D. Govig, Strong at the Broken Places published by John Knox Press. Thinking my husband might enjoy a book like that, I looked for it on Amazon.com. I ended up scrolling down this list of books by other people about pastoral care for special situations - interesting titles if you scroll through all the pages, books that you professionals are probably already aware of. The first page includes alot of books about mental illness. Keep going and you'll find some books specifically about children in special situations.
"This chapter [chapter 14] will focus on some concerns related to ministry to hurting children and will explore ways to make sure that the church is a sanctuary and a place of welcome for all children." (CM p. 311)
They look at physical, attitude, program, and other barriers that leaders face as they try to draw marginalized children into the faith community. They mention physical, emotional, and learning challenges. They talk about classroom management. They talk about children with special needs, refugees, children at risk. They remind us [and this is important] that every child comes with gifts to share. This chapter is full of inspirational examples and ideas but I see it less a how-to and more a wonderful and inspiring tool for attitude adjustment. Their wise deep-hearted caring is contagious. And as usual, I love their stories.
At the end of the chapter they say, "...we need to be intentional about offering sanctuary to them [children], about providing a place that not only is safe but feels safe to all children- a place where each child can grow to be the person God created him or her to be." [CM p. 329] Their emphasis on the child him/herself feeling safe requires that we see all that we do through a child's eyes. This is far more important than most of us think. I'm not talking about coddling that disables or tolerating hurtful behavior/lack of self-control or catering to self-centeredness.
When a child has a problem, have we taken the time to see it through their eyes? Will we take the time to lead them away from the ideas that keep them prisoner and lead them to higher ground? It isn't enough for us to stand convinced that we have a state of the art facility or a fool-proof policy or a crackerjack program. It isn't enough unless every child feels safe, loved, and cared for when they walk through the door. Not from our perspective but from theirs.
It isn't enough unless every child is enabled and equipped to become all that God created him/her to be. Not for our perspective, but from theirs. They won't put it in those terms. They'll just be happy!!
The authors are focusing on very special needs in this chapter but what they're saying applies to any child who feels out of place or marginalized. It's hard to be so attuned to individual children when your numbers increase but as your numbers increase the discreet attention to individuals that they're talking about is probably even more important.
*Resource: The authors reference a book by Stewart D. Govig, Strong at the Broken Places published by John Knox Press. Thinking my husband might enjoy a book like that, I looked for it on Amazon.com. I ended up scrolling down this list of books by other people about pastoral care for special situations - interesting titles if you scroll through all the pages, books that you professionals are probably already aware of. The first page includes alot of books about mental illness. Keep going and you'll find some books specifically about children in special situations.
CM: Special Ministries
"Ministry opportunities abound. Ministry is a mindset of continually being the hands and feet of Jesus Christ and seeing others through his eyes. When we are aware of what is happening in the lives of children, we realize that children's ministry calls for more than offering them Sunday morning worship and learning. These are very important experiences, but usually they are not enough for the child's Christian formation, particularly if children struggle with complex issues, lack nurturing caregivers, or know very little about the gospel." (CM p. 282)
The authors tell the story of a child and his family coming into a church that was "ill-prepared to minister to [the child's] needs" and how the faith community rallied drawing on the communication skills of another child to bridge the gap and allowing a family member to give to other children and the community from skills she learned working with her child. They share other situations where faith communities had unplanned opportunities to minister to the needs of hurting children. The children could have gone unnoticed but they didn't - to the credit of the individuals in these churches who noticed and the communities that lent support. A family suffering tragedy in the larger community could have been written off as "not our problem," but they weren't.
The authors say, "No prepackaged curriculum can respond to the uniqueness of these needs. Thus it is the heart of the leader and the readiness to respond that are most significant." They talk about how important flexibility is. (CM p. 285) Notice that if members of a community are committed to help those who see, anticipate, and reach out to meet the unexpected needs of children (or anyone) asking, "What would Jesus do?" His Body becomes the minister, not just one person.
"God must be at the center. Not teaching the Bible, not knowing about God, not attracting large numbers of kids, not having fun, but knowing God. This must be the driving purpose in all that we do in the name of ministry with children." (CM p. 285)
The bottom line: we each represent the living God - the choices we make, the way we respond to people, the way we behave, the words we say. As a group of "believers" we represent the Living God and that's what the world sees and hears. That's what adults and children in the church and in the world respond to or don't. We can say the world rejects God because they reject us but we better be darned sure that God would be pleased with the way we represent Him. That's ultimately how the children (and adults) around us will come to know God.
Scary, isn't it.
The authors (as always) ask great questions, provide tools, and give wonderful examples of special ministries in this country and abroad but whatever we do with our ministry time or with the individual moments of our lives for that matter as they say, "God must be at the center...knowing God..." (CM p. 285) What more is there to say?
The authors tell the story of a child and his family coming into a church that was "ill-prepared to minister to [the child's] needs" and how the faith community rallied drawing on the communication skills of another child to bridge the gap and allowing a family member to give to other children and the community from skills she learned working with her child. They share other situations where faith communities had unplanned opportunities to minister to the needs of hurting children. The children could have gone unnoticed but they didn't - to the credit of the individuals in these churches who noticed and the communities that lent support. A family suffering tragedy in the larger community could have been written off as "not our problem," but they weren't.
The authors say, "No prepackaged curriculum can respond to the uniqueness of these needs. Thus it is the heart of the leader and the readiness to respond that are most significant." They talk about how important flexibility is. (CM p. 285) Notice that if members of a community are committed to help those who see, anticipate, and reach out to meet the unexpected needs of children (or anyone) asking, "What would Jesus do?" His Body becomes the minister, not just one person.
"God must be at the center. Not teaching the Bible, not knowing about God, not attracting large numbers of kids, not having fun, but knowing God. This must be the driving purpose in all that we do in the name of ministry with children." (CM p. 285)
The bottom line: we each represent the living God - the choices we make, the way we respond to people, the way we behave, the words we say. As a group of "believers" we represent the Living God and that's what the world sees and hears. That's what adults and children in the church and in the world respond to or don't. We can say the world rejects God because they reject us but we better be darned sure that God would be pleased with the way we represent Him. That's ultimately how the children (and adults) around us will come to know God.
Scary, isn't it.
The authors (as always) ask great questions, provide tools, and give wonderful examples of special ministries in this country and abroad but whatever we do with our ministry time or with the individual moments of our lives for that matter as they say, "God must be at the center...knowing God..." (CM p. 285) What more is there to say?
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
CM: Learning Styles
A couple of rich and challenging thoughts to ponder from Children Matter from the section "Each Learner is Unique". (The teacher is also unique.) For all the reading about learning styles I've done over the years, this is wisdom:
1) The authors say, we should acknowledge the strengths and weaknesses of our own preferred learning style. "In so doing, realize that some things that help you learn may actually hinder someone else's learning. Therefore, in teaching be intentional about including learning activities that are uncomfortable for you so that you don't exclude someone whose style might be opposite." [CM p. 262-3]
2) They say that it isn't imperative that you identify each child's learning style if you include something (like an activity) for each learning style in every lesson. That way every child will find something they enjoy and something challenging to take them out of their comfort zone. [CM p. 262-3]
If you find that you're still frustrated with someone, observe. When are they bored, when are excited? If you have a child who never gets excited at church and you ask and can't get an answer from the child, ask his/her parents, siblings, or friends what that child gets excited about - even if they tell you something that most churches will never do. Put your creative thinking cap on and pray and see if God won't show you some activity that you can plan that will tell that child that someone was paying attention to him/her. Somebody noticed. Somebody took the time to find out what he/she cares about - even if it means picking a Sunday to let the kids bring in a show-and-tell or taking a few minutes at the beginning of each class when 2-3 children can bring in something from home to share. Maybe this is didactic but if you have older kids ask them, "Do you think we can learn something about God and His story doing that?" Maybe they just do it because it's fun. There's a time and place for that too.
God already knows what makes each of your kids tick. Ask Him: Lord, help me see! Lord, help me hear!
1) The authors say, we should acknowledge the strengths and weaknesses of our own preferred learning style. "In so doing, realize that some things that help you learn may actually hinder someone else's learning. Therefore, in teaching be intentional about including learning activities that are uncomfortable for you so that you don't exclude someone whose style might be opposite." [CM p. 262-3]
2) They say that it isn't imperative that you identify each child's learning style if you include something (like an activity) for each learning style in every lesson. That way every child will find something they enjoy and something challenging to take them out of their comfort zone. [CM p. 262-3]
If you find that you're still frustrated with someone, observe. When are they bored, when are excited? If you have a child who never gets excited at church and you ask and can't get an answer from the child, ask his/her parents, siblings, or friends what that child gets excited about - even if they tell you something that most churches will never do. Put your creative thinking cap on and pray and see if God won't show you some activity that you can plan that will tell that child that someone was paying attention to him/her. Somebody noticed. Somebody took the time to find out what he/she cares about - even if it means picking a Sunday to let the kids bring in a show-and-tell or taking a few minutes at the beginning of each class when 2-3 children can bring in something from home to share. Maybe this is didactic but if you have older kids ask them, "Do you think we can learn something about God and His story doing that?" Maybe they just do it because it's fun. There's a time and place for that too.
God already knows what makes each of your kids tick. Ask Him: Lord, help me see! Lord, help me hear!
Hands on Learning 2
It's only now after more than 50 years of faith and learning that I understand! It doesn't mean you give every experience in your life a religious tag. It's learning about the God who made you and letting Him teach you and change you through everything your hands find to do.
I was just thinking about the verse, "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might as unto the Lord". That's the way I remember it but it's not an accurate quote. Check it out! When I looked it up I was surprised to see that the context for that verse is teaching and learning. I always thought of the verse preceding it in the context of "church."
"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Col. 3: 16-17 NIV) I had a friend once who took that verse pretty literally saying "life with God should be like a musical."
Teaching - doing - learning - worship - teaching -doing- learning - worship. The hyphen is a two-way arrow. Make it into a circle ....
I'm not a Bible student, only a concordance student :-). Here's a question for you Bible students: how big is that word "whatever"?
I'm guessing it's bigger than what we do in church and as big as all the living and learning we do 24/7 - looking for God and His story there. And when we see Him, when we find Him, when we learn more about Him and His story in our day to day, how can we not help but praise Him? We do a little more, we see a little more, we learn a little more, we worship Him even more. How can that love not help but spill over to the people around us?
I was just thinking about the verse, "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might as unto the Lord". That's the way I remember it but it's not an accurate quote. Check it out! When I looked it up I was surprised to see that the context for that verse is teaching and learning. I always thought of the verse preceding it in the context of "church."
"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Col. 3: 16-17 NIV) I had a friend once who took that verse pretty literally saying "life with God should be like a musical."
Teaching - doing - learning - worship - teaching -doing- learning - worship. The hyphen is a two-way arrow. Make it into a circle ....
I'm not a Bible student, only a concordance student :-). Here's a question for you Bible students: how big is that word "whatever"?
I'm guessing it's bigger than what we do in church and as big as all the living and learning we do 24/7 - looking for God and His story there. And when we see Him, when we find Him, when we learn more about Him and His story in our day to day, how can we not help but praise Him? We do a little more, we see a little more, we learn a little more, we worship Him even more. How can that love not help but spill over to the people around us?
Hands-on Learning 1
Out of respect for the Children Matter authors, I'm intentionally not giving you a lot of detail. (I hope I'm not misrepresenting all the great things they're saying by leaving out detail.) It's nice to buy second-hand books or pass them around when you're the reader and don't have a lot of money but authors who support themselves writing need to sell their books to make a living. Check out a friend's book or take it out of the library if you need to, but if you really like a book or an author "Support the author! Buy the book!" End of commercial.
I also realize as I google Dr. Ward and Edgar Dale that I should be addressing each of the Children Matter authors as "Doctor." My apologies for that!
If you're looking for technical information about teaching and learning you'll find treasure here. ie. They say Edgar Dale's research tells us that after two weeks a learner retains 10 % of what he/she reads and 90 % of what he/she does - "what is performed as a task." In between you have what is heard, what is seen, what is seen and heard, what is said and written. Hands-on, simulated real life takes the prize! Most people learn best when all their senses are involved. The CM authors say, "Learning is complex. True learning, learning that results in life change, is holistic." [CM p. 259]
They also quote Dr. Ted Ward. As usual, I read LOTS of books when we were home schooling. I remember the book I read by Dr. Ward. It was one of the best! The authors use one of Dr. Ward's metaphors to talk about learning when they compare the thumb to physical development, the index finger to cognitive development, the middle finger to emotional development, the ring finger to social development, the pinky to moral development. Dr. Ward included some nice commentary likening the traits of the individual fingers to the areas they represent. But when asked about spiritual development he represents spiritual development with the palm of the hand. "Spiritual development, he says, cannot be directly addressed or taught. This development occurs when the whole person is involved in learning in ways that evoke awe and wonder and encounters with the living God and his story..." That gem came from class notes from one of his lectures in 1989. [CM p. 260]
I'm glad someone saved those notes to share with us!
I also realize as I google Dr. Ward and Edgar Dale that I should be addressing each of the Children Matter authors as "Doctor." My apologies for that!
If you're looking for technical information about teaching and learning you'll find treasure here. ie. They say Edgar Dale's research tells us that after two weeks a learner retains 10 % of what he/she reads and 90 % of what he/she does - "what is performed as a task." In between you have what is heard, what is seen, what is seen and heard, what is said and written. Hands-on, simulated real life takes the prize! Most people learn best when all their senses are involved. The CM authors say, "Learning is complex. True learning, learning that results in life change, is holistic." [CM p. 259]
They also quote Dr. Ted Ward. As usual, I read LOTS of books when we were home schooling. I remember the book I read by Dr. Ward. It was one of the best! The authors use one of Dr. Ward's metaphors to talk about learning when they compare the thumb to physical development, the index finger to cognitive development, the middle finger to emotional development, the ring finger to social development, the pinky to moral development. Dr. Ward included some nice commentary likening the traits of the individual fingers to the areas they represent. But when asked about spiritual development he represents spiritual development with the palm of the hand. "Spiritual development, he says, cannot be directly addressed or taught. This development occurs when the whole person is involved in learning in ways that evoke awe and wonder and encounters with the living God and his story..." That gem came from class notes from one of his lectures in 1989. [CM p. 260]
I'm glad someone saved those notes to share with us!
Monday, January 07, 2008
CM: Part III Worship
I love worship! But when I use the word "worship" what that word means to you is more dependent on your experience with the word that on my understanding as the speaker unless I do something to change that.
For the authors of Children Matter "worship" is a verb. Ok. They also admit that sometimes it's a noun. They talk about both but they start with the premise that children can experience worship. Children are capable of worshiping God. They are capable of experiencing and interacting with God even before they can put it into words. [CM p215-216] Sounds simple and maybe you say, "of course!" But that simple idea is critical to the foundation for our thinking about children and worship. And when you think of all that "worship" means that understanding is profound.
It's profound that, as they say, the first mention of worship in scripture is in the story of Abraham's call to sacrifice his only son, God providing a substitute. Put yourself in Abraham's situation and think about worship in that context. [CM p. 216] Why? because worship is about sacrificing our children? Is it about God providing a substitute when He asks us to give Him our children? Does it have to do with Jesus or is there a whole lot more? I don't know. It's definately something to ponder with God.
The authors say, "Even though the Bible does not provide a concise definition, Scripture is full of examples of worship and the actions involved in it." [CM p. 217] They say that many of these are verbs (action words) that appear over and over in Psalms, examples in the tabernacle, in the temple, in Revelation.
The authors make the observation that even the youngest child can do many of the worship action words of scripture. Say that again. The authors make the observation that even the youngest child can do many of the worship action words of scripture. How wonderful is that! They share Biblical examples and present day examples. The questions they pose for us to ask about our corporate worship are wonderful!
They continue to look at how we do worship*: when children are present for the entire service, children present for part of the worship service, multi-cultural worship, a separate children's worship service, "intentionally Family-Oriented worship," intergenerational worship."And they include resources! They list "Essentials for Children at Worship" across the different approaches and finish with "strategies for implementing change"- a valuable tool for leaders.
I was very surprised to hear the authors say, "[m]any churches that keep children within the worship services are part of ... denominations in the liturgical tradition." [CM p 229] I guess I usually think of upbeat contemporary services as a more child-friendly place to keep children during worship so their comment is really interesting. They also mention that children often remain for the entire worship service in faith communities representing ethnic identities other than white American. [CM p. 230-31] I think that was mentioned in Children's Spirituality, too.
They mention Thomas Groome talking about the power of preaching that helps all generations discover their individual stories and the stories of their faith community within God's larger story as revealed in the scriptures past, present, and future . [CM p. 229] That kind of preaching is worth pondering.
They speak about "full silence" and "empty silence" saying, "In a full silence children are quiet because they have engaged or entered into a story with wonder; and empty silence is when children are told to be quiet or to stop talking." [CM p. 233] As a child, hah! even now my silence won't stay quiet for long. I will fill my head with other things and zone out of and into something else. And who will know?!
These are very random ideas that jumped out at me from a very rich discussion saying how we worship matters. Children matter. How we worship with them (or without them) matters.
Thank you Scottie, Beth, Catherine and Linda. Thank you for this book and for this chapter in particular. I could wait until I finish the book to say thanks but methinks thank yous are never really out of place.
Totally random aside: "how we do worship," "how do we worship." Do they mean the same thing? What is it that matters?
For the authors of Children Matter "worship" is a verb. Ok. They also admit that sometimes it's a noun. They talk about both but they start with the premise that children can experience worship. Children are capable of worshiping God. They are capable of experiencing and interacting with God even before they can put it into words. [CM p215-216] Sounds simple and maybe you say, "of course!" But that simple idea is critical to the foundation for our thinking about children and worship. And when you think of all that "worship" means that understanding is profound.
It's profound that, as they say, the first mention of worship in scripture is in the story of Abraham's call to sacrifice his only son, God providing a substitute. Put yourself in Abraham's situation and think about worship in that context. [CM p. 216] Why? because worship is about sacrificing our children? Is it about God providing a substitute when He asks us to give Him our children? Does it have to do with Jesus or is there a whole lot more? I don't know. It's definately something to ponder with God.
The authors say, "Even though the Bible does not provide a concise definition, Scripture is full of examples of worship and the actions involved in it." [CM p. 217] They say that many of these are verbs (action words) that appear over and over in Psalms, examples in the tabernacle, in the temple, in Revelation.
The authors make the observation that even the youngest child can do many of the worship action words of scripture. Say that again. The authors make the observation that even the youngest child can do many of the worship action words of scripture. How wonderful is that! They share Biblical examples and present day examples. The questions they pose for us to ask about our corporate worship are wonderful!
They continue to look at how we do worship*: when children are present for the entire service, children present for part of the worship service, multi-cultural worship, a separate children's worship service, "intentionally Family-Oriented worship," intergenerational worship."And they include resources! They list "Essentials for Children at Worship" across the different approaches and finish with "strategies for implementing change"- a valuable tool for leaders.
I was very surprised to hear the authors say, "[m]any churches that keep children within the worship services are part of ... denominations in the liturgical tradition." [CM p 229] I guess I usually think of upbeat contemporary services as a more child-friendly place to keep children during worship so their comment is really interesting. They also mention that children often remain for the entire worship service in faith communities representing ethnic identities other than white American. [CM p. 230-31] I think that was mentioned in Children's Spirituality, too.
They mention Thomas Groome talking about the power of preaching that helps all generations discover their individual stories and the stories of their faith community within God's larger story as revealed in the scriptures past, present, and future . [CM p. 229] That kind of preaching is worth pondering.
They speak about "full silence" and "empty silence" saying, "In a full silence children are quiet because they have engaged or entered into a story with wonder; and empty silence is when children are told to be quiet or to stop talking." [CM p. 233] As a child, hah! even now my silence won't stay quiet for long. I will fill my head with other things and zone out of and into something else. And who will know?!
These are very random ideas that jumped out at me from a very rich discussion saying how we worship matters. Children matter. How we worship with them (or without them) matters.
Thank you Scottie, Beth, Catherine and Linda. Thank you for this book and for this chapter in particular. I could wait until I finish the book to say thanks but methinks thank yous are never really out of place.
Totally random aside: "how we do worship," "how do we worship." Do they mean the same thing? What is it that matters?
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Between Part II and III
Before I start Part III of Children Matter you should know I rarely pay attention to the systematic thinking expressed in a book's Table of Contents. I should. It would make me a better writer.
Here is the Table of Contents from Children Matter [sometimes rephrased]. Using the Table of Contents as a guide may help you better use this book, this resource, if you're using it to rethink what you're doing:
Introduction: The Story of a Book [I think they've accomplished their goal of creating a resource that can be used by generations of children's ministers not only for the wisdom and insight they share but because they help us find the questions we need to keep asking and keep answering. In only about 350 pages!]
Imagine asking these same questions in 2050 ad or 3000 ad ... scary...
Part I Foundations Matter
(What foundations? What are we building on?)
Part II Context and Content Matter
(What is context?)
Part III How We Do It Matters
How we do
How we do "all children matter" doesn't make sense right now but it will when I read it! It's probably the most important chapter!
I don't think I tagged the other CHMT posts "resources" but this book is a valuable resource. :-)
Here is the Table of Contents from Children Matter [sometimes rephrased]. Using the Table of Contents as a guide may help you better use this book, this resource, if you're using it to rethink what you're doing:
Introduction: The Story of a Book [I think they've accomplished their goal of creating a resource that can be used by generations of children's ministers not only for the wisdom and insight they share but because they help us find the questions we need to keep asking and keep answering. In only about 350 pages!]
Imagine asking these same questions in 2050 ad or 3000 ad ... scary...
Part I Foundations Matter
(What foundations? What are we building on?)
- The metaphors we use in ministry ie. "children are like..."
- Children in the Bible
- Our theology and children
- A child's development
- The historic roots of children's ministry
Part II Context and Content Matter
(What is context?)
- Children in context
- Children in the faith community
- Children in family
- Children and story (content matters)
- Children and Curriculum
Part III How We Do It Matters
How we do
- Worship
- Learning and Teaching
- Specialized Ministries
- All Children Matter
- Leadership [How we do it] Matters
How we do "all children matter" doesn't make sense right now but it will when I read it! It's probably the most important chapter!
I don't think I tagged the other CHMT posts "resources" but this book is a valuable resource. :-)
Thursday, January 03, 2008
CM: Curriculum
This is from Chapter 10 of Children Matter - a strong chapter about curriculum. They define curriculum as "the experiential big picture of what is involved in teaching and nurturing children," [CM p.192] "a course or journey to be traversed together..." (as a faith community) because "...every element in the life of a church educates in some way." [CM p. 191]
They talk about content, learner, environment, teacher/shepherd, aim and evaluation adding, "One major element of life-changing curriculum is missing from what we have discussed to this point. Only God can change lives, and our curriculum is ineffective unless God's Spirit is at work in and through us,our students, and all that we do...Jesus promised to send His Holy Spirit to be with us, so we do not work alone." [CM p. 198]
They include a valuable section comparing the strengths and weaknesses of prepared curriculum with curriculum designed within the local church. They also talk about combinations. They talk about "empowering teachers, shepherds, and leaders," "attention to the environment," accountability...
All in all they present a wonderful challenge to define and create ways to teach and nurture children that embody experiencing God's big picture. [ from CM p.192] They call us to create journeys that multi-generational faith communities can take together, working with leadership so that everyone is attentive to the elements in the life of the church that can teach us about God, how He loves us, how He interacts with us, how He interacts with others in this world no matter how old we are. [ from CM p. 191] Programs, activities, and worship can accomplish this through careful planning and design. Being attentive to what people of all ages are learning and how they're learning is challenging and important but it helps us plan and design. But I think it's more than that. It's not just what we teach but what people learn. I think the curriculum they're talking about is more than all of this: it's God teaching us - no matter how old we are.
Who will take the time? What congregations will step out of their comfort zone, out of the old ways, out of the old wine skins to explore the possibilities of becoming new wine in new wine skins for generations of God's children? Designing the curriculum that the authors are talking about requires a unique relationship between church leadership and those who are given to ministering to children. It means we need to learn to hear each other, set goals together, work together, design together, create together, pray and listen together. It means learning to see ways that God is already working in the lives of an entire congregation - all ages - both as individual groups and as we interact with one another. It includes what individuals in a faith community are learning, how we're learning, and more important how it affects our day to day life and living. It's not didactic, it's organic. It has everything to do with what it means to embrace Jesus' words: "learning to obey all that I commanded you..." representing Christ in every area of our lives. We're not an institution. We're not country clubs. We're the living Body of the Living God - the wisdom of God to the world. I think that's the curriculum they're talking about. That's the curriculum we're after. What does it look like? When it's all said and done, it should probably look like Jesus.
They talk about content, learner, environment, teacher/shepherd, aim and evaluation adding, "One major element of life-changing curriculum is missing from what we have discussed to this point. Only God can change lives, and our curriculum is ineffective unless God's Spirit is at work in and through us,our students, and all that we do...Jesus promised to send His Holy Spirit to be with us, so we do not work alone." [CM p. 198]
They include a valuable section comparing the strengths and weaknesses of prepared curriculum with curriculum designed within the local church. They also talk about combinations. They talk about "empowering teachers, shepherds, and leaders," "attention to the environment," accountability...
All in all they present a wonderful challenge to define and create ways to teach and nurture children that embody experiencing God's big picture. [ from CM p.192] They call us to create journeys that multi-generational faith communities can take together, working with leadership so that everyone is attentive to the elements in the life of the church that can teach us about God, how He loves us, how He interacts with us, how He interacts with others in this world no matter how old we are. [ from CM p. 191] Programs, activities, and worship can accomplish this through careful planning and design. Being attentive to what people of all ages are learning and how they're learning is challenging and important but it helps us plan and design. But I think it's more than that. It's not just what we teach but what people learn. I think the curriculum they're talking about is more than all of this: it's God teaching us - no matter how old we are.
Who will take the time? What congregations will step out of their comfort zone, out of the old ways, out of the old wine skins to explore the possibilities of becoming new wine in new wine skins for generations of God's children? Designing the curriculum that the authors are talking about requires a unique relationship between church leadership and those who are given to ministering to children. It means we need to learn to hear each other, set goals together, work together, design together, create together, pray and listen together. It means learning to see ways that God is already working in the lives of an entire congregation - all ages - both as individual groups and as we interact with one another. It includes what individuals in a faith community are learning, how we're learning, and more important how it affects our day to day life and living. It's not didactic, it's organic. It has everything to do with what it means to embrace Jesus' words: "learning to obey all that I commanded you..." representing Christ in every area of our lives. We're not an institution. We're not country clubs. We're the living Body of the Living God - the wisdom of God to the world. I think that's the curriculum they're talking about. That's the curriculum we're after. What does it look like? When it's all said and done, it should probably look like Jesus.
CM: Children and Story
Chapter 9 in Children Matter - a short but rich chapter.
Apparently the oldest written description of storytelling (Egypt 2000-1300 B.C.E.) involved the sons of a great pyramid builder. Whether these were grown sons or children I don't know. The Psalms (and our lives) are full of older generations telling stories to younger generations but it's interesting that this example isn't the older telling stories to the younger. It's the other way around.
Most of the focus on story-telling in Christian Education is adult to child. And the authors make some wonderful comments about the multi-generational appeal of great stories, the craftsmanship of story-telling, point of view, audience, holding to the detail of scripture, not watering God's stories down, recognizing that there are more stories in scripture than we tell but many are better delivered to teens and adults. Good stories allow us to participate in the story capturing our imagination. We're not merely spectators. Good stories teach without explanation or interpretation. They can even say different things to different people, different things to different ages, different things to people going through crisis.
Here's where my brain went. How often do we give children opportunity to tell stories? If we're in the middle of a lesson and we ask if there are any questions and we get children telling their long stories we tend to cut children off. But what if we find a time and place to let them tell their stories? It can be in a big group. It can be smaller groups. It can be personal stories, family stories. What if we let them retell their favorite Bible stories? Listen to children retell stories and you find out what jumped out at them. You can also catch misunderstandings. Maybe we're going for accuracy and "truth" but maybe we need to listen to find out what they heard or what the story is reaching for in the child - what the story uncovered."I don't remember that part in the Bible story. What made you think of that?"
Do you use real life photos from the lands the stories come from to introduce a story? A picture of the Nile and the long grasses to go with the story of Moses? A picture of the desert? A cup of sand? Do you turn the thermostat up high? Before you tell a story, imagine yourself in this place instead of where you live. What would be the same? What would be different?
Very young children can use a printed picture to tell a story. They can play the story with felt or 3 dimensional story figures. They can use puppets and a puppet theater. (Children have such wonderful imaginations they can probably tell a good story with fabric and sticks.) Older children can draw pictures and tell the story that goes with their picture. Pre-teens and teens can write stories from the point of view of a different character ( or an observer, an animal, a tree, a rock) in a Bible story. Older children who don't like to read or write can still tell their story or create props to tell their story. They can act their story out. Older students can recreate stories with skits and puppet shows. Different classes can perform their stories for each other or for parents and friends. You can keep story telling very simple or make it a big production.
If you have five different student versions of the Christmas story, ask them what was the same in all of the stories? Tell the story going around the circle and let each child add a part to the story.
How often do we leave time to ponder and respond to a story? [CM p. 188-189] The design of Young Children in Worship gives us some handles on this but in most classes we're more prone to rush on to the questions and discussion or the related activity. Sometimes kids are ready to move on. Sometimes, they need a few moments to ponder or to reorient themselves to the present.
The authors quote Edith Schaeffer, "A sermon is always improved with a story, but a story is never improved with a sermon." [CM p. 189] We're teachers! We're adults! We always have to comment. A child might not get it! But we can learn a lot from the things that children "get" if we take time to ask and listen without judging. Chances are, it isn't what we expect but that's ok. It gives us opportunity to learn something new or to adjust misunderstandings.
In one class I taught with preschoolers we hung the posters or the projects after each lesson - something to remind us of the story. We hung the images like a time line and each week we went back to the pictures from the weeks before to see what we remembered. Who was the story about? What happened in the story? What was the memory verse? Did anything happen at home or at school that reminded you of a Bible story? What happened? What did you do? This is more didactic than most of what's here but it's a good way to review and remember stories.
They quote Shaw [CM p. 177] saying, "What is learned in story is not so much information or knowledge in the usual sense but is far closer to wisdom, understanding, or lived truth..."
Wisdom is often the missing objective in our teaching and learning but one of the most important. It's neat to think of the simple act of storytelling as one of the most effective tools to teach wisdom - one of the hardest things to teach and measure - the one thing we'll spend our whole life learning.
Apparently the oldest written description of storytelling (Egypt 2000-1300 B.C.E.) involved the sons of a great pyramid builder. Whether these were grown sons or children I don't know. The Psalms (and our lives) are full of older generations telling stories to younger generations but it's interesting that this example isn't the older telling stories to the younger. It's the other way around.
Most of the focus on story-telling in Christian Education is adult to child. And the authors make some wonderful comments about the multi-generational appeal of great stories, the craftsmanship of story-telling, point of view, audience, holding to the detail of scripture, not watering God's stories down, recognizing that there are more stories in scripture than we tell but many are better delivered to teens and adults. Good stories allow us to participate in the story capturing our imagination. We're not merely spectators. Good stories teach without explanation or interpretation. They can even say different things to different people, different things to different ages, different things to people going through crisis.
Here's where my brain went. How often do we give children opportunity to tell stories? If we're in the middle of a lesson and we ask if there are any questions and we get children telling their long stories we tend to cut children off. But what if we find a time and place to let them tell their stories? It can be in a big group. It can be smaller groups. It can be personal stories, family stories. What if we let them retell their favorite Bible stories? Listen to children retell stories and you find out what jumped out at them. You can also catch misunderstandings. Maybe we're going for accuracy and "truth" but maybe we need to listen to find out what they heard or what the story is reaching for in the child - what the story uncovered."I don't remember that part in the Bible story. What made you think of that?"
Do you use real life photos from the lands the stories come from to introduce a story? A picture of the Nile and the long grasses to go with the story of Moses? A picture of the desert? A cup of sand? Do you turn the thermostat up high? Before you tell a story, imagine yourself in this place instead of where you live. What would be the same? What would be different?
Very young children can use a printed picture to tell a story. They can play the story with felt or 3 dimensional story figures. They can use puppets and a puppet theater. (Children have such wonderful imaginations they can probably tell a good story with fabric and sticks.) Older children can draw pictures and tell the story that goes with their picture. Pre-teens and teens can write stories from the point of view of a different character ( or an observer, an animal, a tree, a rock) in a Bible story. Older children who don't like to read or write can still tell their story or create props to tell their story. They can act their story out. Older students can recreate stories with skits and puppet shows. Different classes can perform their stories for each other or for parents and friends. You can keep story telling very simple or make it a big production.
If you have five different student versions of the Christmas story, ask them what was the same in all of the stories? Tell the story going around the circle and let each child add a part to the story.
How often do we leave time to ponder and respond to a story? [CM p. 188-189] The design of Young Children in Worship gives us some handles on this but in most classes we're more prone to rush on to the questions and discussion or the related activity. Sometimes kids are ready to move on. Sometimes, they need a few moments to ponder or to reorient themselves to the present.
The authors quote Edith Schaeffer, "A sermon is always improved with a story, but a story is never improved with a sermon." [CM p. 189] We're teachers! We're adults! We always have to comment. A child might not get it! But we can learn a lot from the things that children "get" if we take time to ask and listen without judging. Chances are, it isn't what we expect but that's ok. It gives us opportunity to learn something new or to adjust misunderstandings.
In one class I taught with preschoolers we hung the posters or the projects after each lesson - something to remind us of the story. We hung the images like a time line and each week we went back to the pictures from the weeks before to see what we remembered. Who was the story about? What happened in the story? What was the memory verse? Did anything happen at home or at school that reminded you of a Bible story? What happened? What did you do? This is more didactic than most of what's here but it's a good way to review and remember stories.
They quote Shaw [CM p. 177] saying, "What is learned in story is not so much information or knowledge in the usual sense but is far closer to wisdom, understanding, or lived truth..."
Wisdom is often the missing objective in our teaching and learning but one of the most important. It's neat to think of the simple act of storytelling as one of the most effective tools to teach wisdom - one of the hardest things to teach and measure - the one thing we'll spend our whole life learning.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
CM: Children in the Family
Chapter 8: Lots of great insight, ideas and examples for families and for churches equipping and supporting families. Here are a couple of quotes that stood out for me:
-"Children are troubled by double standards and lose respect for parents who continue to demand of them what they are unwilling to do themselves. But if we listen to our children and take a look at ourselves through their eyes, they can help us grow and build greater consistency into our life. In some cases we need to conform to standards we set for our children, but in other situations we will realize that our demands on the children are unreasonable and we need to relax them." [CM p. 160]
Both as parents and teachers children (because they're always watching) hold us responsible for our choices, attitudes, and behaviors. It takes wisdom to know when we, ourselves, need to live up to the standards we set for kids and when we need to relax them for everyone. Sometimes we marvel at the ways they model us. Sometimes, we're appalled. We ask, "Why? What are we doing? What have I done to make them think _____[acting badly] is ok?"
Every grown up has to ask, "Is it more important that I hold myself and my children to standards even if those standards are always just out of reach or is it more important to hold standards that we can actually achieve adding more as we succeed?" Am I willing to relax my unreasonable expectations even when I seem to fall short in the face of a faith community that seems to have it all together?
You are who you are, not your neighbor yet God requires each of us to keep His word no matter who we are. There are social expectations in any group yet we're a group of individuals. We aren't all the same. Wisdom helps us sort through all the voices, demands, and expectations. It helps us focus and prioritize and set reasonable personal and family goals. Sometimes we need help to accomplish our goals. Sometimes we need someone to say, "Relax!" Ultimately it's what God thinks that matters. But how do we know? Did you ever hear one person say to another, "You may be frustrated about [this] but you really know how to [love your kids]. They seem to always know you love them."
Start with success and add challenges as appropriate. It takes some humility but it can be fun trying to master challenging tasks together. "Nobody wants to take out the garbage but it has to get done. Let's do it together. You get the little bags from the little cans. I'll get the big bags." You can also each pick something different that's hard for you, set goals and try to reach them side by side. Find ways to reward or celebrate your successes and your child's successes. Praise a child when you notice them doing something good, especially if it's unplanned.
-Here's another, " . . . for some family has become an idol, valued above everyone and everything else . . . Families need to worship and learn regularly with others to know that they belong to a large family of people who love and serve God." [CM p. 169] I think building trust, being willing to learn from and receive from others, being willing to give to others (not just stuff but who they are as a family and as individuals) helps families focus outside of themselves.
-Here's another, "When parents are unable to give children what they need, young ones can still find comfort and nurture in God's presence . . . don't assume that God is not there. Look for evidence of God's presence in the child's life, and find ways for the family of God to surround the child with love and support." [CM p. 159]
We can help children learn to see God working in their lives. We can help family members see God working in their lives and in the lives of others. Sometimes people need that kind of encouragement. It may be as simple as asking the question, "What do you see God doing?" or sharing ways that you see God present with them. It may be as simple as having someone to praise them for the things they do right. Encouragement goes a long way - in the family of God, in any family.
"I noticed that you shared your cookies with your little sister. That was a special thing to do." Next time you hand the older child a cookie, "If you give your sister a chocolate cookie we have to be ready to wipe the chocolate off her hands and face before she touches something. Here's one without chocolate. See if she'll take this one, instead."
Does God only focus on the things we do wrong? Does He encourage us? How does God encourage you? How does God encourage your children?
-"Children are troubled by double standards and lose respect for parents who continue to demand of them what they are unwilling to do themselves. But if we listen to our children and take a look at ourselves through their eyes, they can help us grow and build greater consistency into our life. In some cases we need to conform to standards we set for our children, but in other situations we will realize that our demands on the children are unreasonable and we need to relax them." [CM p. 160]
Both as parents and teachers children (because they're always watching) hold us responsible for our choices, attitudes, and behaviors. It takes wisdom to know when we, ourselves, need to live up to the standards we set for kids and when we need to relax them for everyone. Sometimes we marvel at the ways they model us. Sometimes, we're appalled. We ask, "Why? What are we doing? What have I done to make them think _____[acting badly] is ok?"
Every grown up has to ask, "Is it more important that I hold myself and my children to standards even if those standards are always just out of reach or is it more important to hold standards that we can actually achieve adding more as we succeed?" Am I willing to relax my unreasonable expectations even when I seem to fall short in the face of a faith community that seems to have it all together?
You are who you are, not your neighbor yet God requires each of us to keep His word no matter who we are. There are social expectations in any group yet we're a group of individuals. We aren't all the same. Wisdom helps us sort through all the voices, demands, and expectations. It helps us focus and prioritize and set reasonable personal and family goals. Sometimes we need help to accomplish our goals. Sometimes we need someone to say, "Relax!" Ultimately it's what God thinks that matters. But how do we know? Did you ever hear one person say to another, "You may be frustrated about [this] but you really know how to [love your kids]. They seem to always know you love them."
Start with success and add challenges as appropriate. It takes some humility but it can be fun trying to master challenging tasks together. "Nobody wants to take out the garbage but it has to get done. Let's do it together. You get the little bags from the little cans. I'll get the big bags." You can also each pick something different that's hard for you, set goals and try to reach them side by side. Find ways to reward or celebrate your successes and your child's successes. Praise a child when you notice them doing something good, especially if it's unplanned.
-Here's another, " . . . for some family has become an idol, valued above everyone and everything else . . . Families need to worship and learn regularly with others to know that they belong to a large family of people who love and serve God." [CM p. 169] I think building trust, being willing to learn from and receive from others, being willing to give to others (not just stuff but who they are as a family and as individuals) helps families focus outside of themselves.
-Here's another, "When parents are unable to give children what they need, young ones can still find comfort and nurture in God's presence . . . don't assume that God is not there. Look for evidence of God's presence in the child's life, and find ways for the family of God to surround the child with love and support." [CM p. 159]
We can help children learn to see God working in their lives. We can help family members see God working in their lives and in the lives of others. Sometimes people need that kind of encouragement. It may be as simple as asking the question, "What do you see God doing?" or sharing ways that you see God present with them. It may be as simple as having someone to praise them for the things they do right. Encouragement goes a long way - in the family of God, in any family.
"I noticed that you shared your cookies with your little sister. That was a special thing to do." Next time you hand the older child a cookie, "If you give your sister a chocolate cookie we have to be ready to wipe the chocolate off her hands and face before she touches something. Here's one without chocolate. See if she'll take this one, instead."
Does God only focus on the things we do wrong? Does He encourage us? How does God encourage you? How does God encourage your children?
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Children Matter: Busyness
"Although children profit greatly from participation in worship and other congregational events, relationships grow over time in smaller face-to-face groups. . . time for conversation is a wise investment..." [CM p. 146] They talk about relationships being like the nervous system of the body. They also have neat ideas for involving adults in children's activities even if the adults have no desire to teach.
But my mind took a turn to think more about taking time... time to notice, time to listen, time to interact, time to think, time for quiet, time to just let things happen ...
"Too often our view of the church gets in the way of building community and meaningful relationships. We get so busy running the 'corporation' and managing programs that children, relationships, and community get lost." Linda Cannell wrote "If Churches Were Parks." I don't know the rules about printing the whole thing here. Someone else posted it. If you Google it, you can find it with source and author noted.
The park image is great for taking away the walls. Seeing beyond the business and busyness of church is an important is part of that. Post-moderns in particular seem to be searching not just for community but for the still quiet place of the ancient cathedral. The park and the sanctuary of a mammoth cathedral may seem like opposites. In some ways they are. In other ways, they aren't.
The lives of children who go off to a systematic daycare 6 weeks after they're born, and on to pre-school, kindergarten, 20 years of school, then on to the world of work lead very regimented lives. Schedules are necessary. Order is imposed.
I read an article in the local newspaper when my kids were young. The author was so grateful that, as a child, she had unstructured alone time. It wasn't just a time to rest and retreat from the world. It was also the time she used to create and imagine and think her own thoughts.
Creative people need that. Children need that. Children need relationships but they also need time alone. Can children be alone and still be supervised? Can we provide still, quiet times and places without walls?
The authors ask some great questions. These are extra!
But my mind took a turn to think more about taking time... time to notice, time to listen, time to interact, time to think, time for quiet, time to just let things happen ...
"Too often our view of the church gets in the way of building community and meaningful relationships. We get so busy running the 'corporation' and managing programs that children, relationships, and community get lost." Linda Cannell wrote "If Churches Were Parks." I don't know the rules about printing the whole thing here. Someone else posted it. If you Google it, you can find it with source and author noted.
The park image is great for taking away the walls. Seeing beyond the business and busyness of church is an important is part of that. Post-moderns in particular seem to be searching not just for community but for the still quiet place of the ancient cathedral. The park and the sanctuary of a mammoth cathedral may seem like opposites. In some ways they are. In other ways, they aren't.
The lives of children who go off to a systematic daycare 6 weeks after they're born, and on to pre-school, kindergarten, 20 years of school, then on to the world of work lead very regimented lives. Schedules are necessary. Order is imposed.
I read an article in the local newspaper when my kids were young. The author was so grateful that, as a child, she had unstructured alone time. It wasn't just a time to rest and retreat from the world. It was also the time she used to create and imagine and think her own thoughts.
Creative people need that. Children need that. Children need relationships but they also need time alone. Can children be alone and still be supervised? Can we provide still, quiet times and places without walls?
The authors ask some great questions. These are extra!
Children Matter: Service
"Children are also blessed through relationships with persons in a wide age range, from teenagers to senior citizens. Cathy saw that beautiful mix of ages one morning during Vacation Bible School week..." [CM p. 145] The authors go on to tell some of the many ways that different ages found different ways to serve the kids. "The extended family had gathered to serve the children, enjoy time together, and build relationships as the children learned more about Jesus." [CM p. 146] This is really wonderful. Can't you see the joy and excitement in everyone's eyes?
I'd never thought about it before but here's my question: How many different ways can we find for children to return that same gift of giving to some the people who give to them? Thank you notes, cookies, flowers and candy are nice. Doing things for the elderly that they can't do themselves is a wonderful service, too. But how can children serve teens? How can children serve middle aged "aunts" and "uncles" or young adults or college students? It's a question.
And if you say, the teens don't want the kids around . . . hmm . . . not ever? It works both ways! Such an opportunity! We need each other!
I'd never thought about it before but here's my question: How many different ways can we find for children to return that same gift of giving to some the people who give to them? Thank you notes, cookies, flowers and candy are nice. Doing things for the elderly that they can't do themselves is a wonderful service, too. But how can children serve teens? How can children serve middle aged "aunts" and "uncles" or young adults or college students? It's a question.
And if you say, the teens don't want the kids around . . . hmm . . . not ever? It works both ways! Such an opportunity! We need each other!
Children Matter: Male and Female
Still reading Children Matter. More food for thought!
They talk about community relationships being even more important than programs when it comes to spiritual formation, particularly for children.
This was nicely said: "Based on a legitimate concern for protecting children from sexual abuse, some churches do not allow men to work with young children. But children need the experience of learning with and from men, worshiping with them, and knowing that they love Jesus. Especially little boys need to know that real men love and serve God . . . Our policies must protect children from abuse while releasing both men and women to love, teach, and nurture children." [CM p. 145] Women can do serious harm to children, too.
Freeing both men and women, old and young to love, teach and nurture children is particularly important as nuclear families are less in touch with extended family and as more and more children grow up in single family homes. Men and women capable of developing emotionally healthy relationships with children bring different things to children. The things that men and women bring to family sometimes seem to conflict especially when kids are little, but kids need both hard edges and soft hearts.
Ok. That's a bit stereotypical. Take the ways you are very different from someone of another gender in the way you interact with your child and just understand that kids need a measure of both, the mixture and size of the measure depends on the needs of the child. God made us male and female, after all. And we're not the same. Boys and girls, men and women need each other!
They talk about community relationships being even more important than programs when it comes to spiritual formation, particularly for children.
This was nicely said: "Based on a legitimate concern for protecting children from sexual abuse, some churches do not allow men to work with young children. But children need the experience of learning with and from men, worshiping with them, and knowing that they love Jesus. Especially little boys need to know that real men love and serve God . . . Our policies must protect children from abuse while releasing both men and women to love, teach, and nurture children." [CM p. 145] Women can do serious harm to children, too.
Freeing both men and women, old and young to love, teach and nurture children is particularly important as nuclear families are less in touch with extended family and as more and more children grow up in single family homes. Men and women capable of developing emotionally healthy relationships with children bring different things to children. The things that men and women bring to family sometimes seem to conflict especially when kids are little, but kids need both hard edges and soft hearts.
Ok. That's a bit stereotypical. Take the ways you are very different from someone of another gender in the way you interact with your child and just understand that kids need a measure of both, the mixture and size of the measure depends on the needs of the child. God made us male and female, after all. And we're not the same. Boys and girls, men and women need each other!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Mine and Ours
Over the last five years I've switched from long personal prayers to praying the Lord's prayer and just talking to God. Just another new season? Maybe. When Jesus' followers asked Him to teach them to pray, He taught them what we know as the Lord's Prayer. There are probably books and seminars that focus on a multitude of ways to make the Lord's prayer and other prayers work like some kind of magic. That's not where I'm going with this.
I noticed the other day (I'm a little slow) that when Jesus taught His disciples to pray He didn't teach them to pray using the pronouns "I" or "me" or "mine". He taught them to pray using "our" and "us," "Thy" and "Thine."
I wasn't going to blog about that but I picked up the next chapter in Children Matter (Chapter 7 - Children in the Faith Community). In the second section the authors draw our attention to Genesis 1:26. "Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness." (CHMT, p 128). They point out that God not only didn't leave man alone, but our triune God was a community of three to start with. We are created in the image of this triune God. Community is part of the image in which God made us. It would be an interesting study: where God uses "Me" or "mine" and where He uses "we" or "our".
The focus in Chapter 7 is on community with a terrific beginning about a church where a pastor made relationships important by his example and his focus. . . (CHMT, p. 126-128) It's worth reading.
At the end of a list of six qualities present in this particular congregation - all focusing on caring for, relating to, and empowering people whatever their age- the authors end their list with this: "Because children were present in every part of church life, they were formed by the faith of the members of the congregation." (CHMT, p. 128) Simple? Too simple?
We are not only an independent-minded people (I'm guilty) but the presence of extended family in one location is rare these days. An extended family that's interdependent on each other (assume the healthy version) may be a common occurrance in many cultures but not ours. For post-moderns, community and ministering to the whole person are important values - Biblical values. Maybe post-modern parents are the children of the remnant of the '60's and '70's - health foods, hippies, peer community taking the place of broken families. Ok. That doesn't apply to everyone. After all, the establishment prevailed didn't it for better or for worse, or we think it did. Maybe we should wonder. Maybe it didn't. Maybe God started something. And maybe He's not done.
It's interesting to see Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as the beginning of community. It's interesting to see an example of a thriving faith community where each individual feels loved, where each individual is important and yet each individual sees others as more important than him or herself. As this community extends hospitality to one another, they don't exclude children. They include them. That statement in itself isn't a very good picture of what the authors were saying. Their picture of a multi-generational funeral celebration to remember an elderly brother in Christ says something much stronger. (CHMT, p 127)
I noticed the other day (I'm a little slow) that when Jesus taught His disciples to pray He didn't teach them to pray using the pronouns "I" or "me" or "mine". He taught them to pray using "our" and "us," "Thy" and "Thine."
I wasn't going to blog about that but I picked up the next chapter in Children Matter (Chapter 7 - Children in the Faith Community). In the second section the authors draw our attention to Genesis 1:26. "Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness." (CHMT, p 128). They point out that God not only didn't leave man alone, but our triune God was a community of three to start with. We are created in the image of this triune God. Community is part of the image in which God made us. It would be an interesting study: where God uses "Me" or "mine" and where He uses "we" or "our".
The focus in Chapter 7 is on community with a terrific beginning about a church where a pastor made relationships important by his example and his focus. . . (CHMT, p. 126-128) It's worth reading.
At the end of a list of six qualities present in this particular congregation - all focusing on caring for, relating to, and empowering people whatever their age- the authors end their list with this: "Because children were present in every part of church life, they were formed by the faith of the members of the congregation." (CHMT, p. 128) Simple? Too simple?
We are not only an independent-minded people (I'm guilty) but the presence of extended family in one location is rare these days. An extended family that's interdependent on each other (assume the healthy version) may be a common occurrance in many cultures but not ours. For post-moderns, community and ministering to the whole person are important values - Biblical values. Maybe post-modern parents are the children of the remnant of the '60's and '70's - health foods, hippies, peer community taking the place of broken families. Ok. That doesn't apply to everyone. After all, the establishment prevailed didn't it for better or for worse, or we think it did. Maybe we should wonder. Maybe it didn't. Maybe God started something. And maybe He's not done.
It's interesting to see Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as the beginning of community. It's interesting to see an example of a thriving faith community where each individual feels loved, where each individual is important and yet each individual sees others as more important than him or herself. As this community extends hospitality to one another, they don't exclude children. They include them. That statement in itself isn't a very good picture of what the authors were saying. Their picture of a multi-generational funeral celebration to remember an elderly brother in Christ says something much stronger. (CHMT, p 127)
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Children Matter: Context
The authors of Children Matter have an interesting chapter on context - interesting for families and children's ministers. I'm still impressed by their insights and sensitivities.
"Our task is to translate and demonstrate messages of faith to children for their particular time and place. The tension is to respect the truth and timelessness of the scriptural message while at the same time being sensitive to the diversity of children's circumstances." (CHMT p. 116)
I'm understanding context as the relevance of a child's surroundings to the child and his/her faith. The emphasis here being relevance to the child.
Sometimes context is obvious. Sometimes recognizing context takes highly tuned observational skills and sensitivity. Respectful dialogue and open conversation between adults and children can help us understand ways that the context in which a child lives might affect him or her. Sometimes the things that affect adults also affect children - sometimes in the same way, sometimes in different ways. Sometimes children are more sensitive. Sometimes children are sensitive to different things in different ways than we are.
Here are some of the things they mentioned that can affect a child's growing faith:
-the family environment shaping the child
-ways that this particular child shapes his/her family and their environment
Sometimes the affect is positive, sometimes negative.
Context can be all or any combination of the following:
cultural heritage
school
day care
church
a parent's work world
Add
interconnected relationships between all these different spheres
Don't forget the affects of
the media
books, computers, radio, TV, videos, movies, advertising
the country they live in or the country of origin
world, national, and community events
Family customs, values, traditions
I don't remember if they mentioned this but I imagine leadership styles at home and
in all the other spheres in a child's life will affect him or her, especially if they're in conflict with one another. They touched that a little - the conflicts that can occur between the different influences in a child's life.
I was especially impressed by the authors' sensitivity to the historic context of the faith community to which a child belongs. They encourage not only the exchange of personal stories, community stories, stories about the role of this particular faith community in the larger community, but hunting for stories about the children's ministry there. Whether you love history or hate it, those who come before us affect our lives and our work today. It's worth taking the time to understand the "how."
They noticed that Moses couldn't help but be affected by bi-cultural influences. I'm guessing there are probably examples in scripture of most any situation we can think of if we're willing to take the time to go looking.
I liked their attention and sensitivity to the visual images and symbols that we use to communicate faith to children.
It's an interesting chapter. Context is always part of our lives but not necessarily something we think about.
How 'bout you? How did context affect your faith, as a child? How does it affect the children around you, now?
"Our task is to translate and demonstrate messages of faith to children for their particular time and place. The tension is to respect the truth and timelessness of the scriptural message while at the same time being sensitive to the diversity of children's circumstances." (CHMT p. 116)
I'm understanding context as the relevance of a child's surroundings to the child and his/her faith. The emphasis here being relevance to the child.
Sometimes context is obvious. Sometimes recognizing context takes highly tuned observational skills and sensitivity. Respectful dialogue and open conversation between adults and children can help us understand ways that the context in which a child lives might affect him or her. Sometimes the things that affect adults also affect children - sometimes in the same way, sometimes in different ways. Sometimes children are more sensitive. Sometimes children are sensitive to different things in different ways than we are.
Here are some of the things they mentioned that can affect a child's growing faith:
-the family environment shaping the child
-ways that this particular child shapes his/her family and their environment
Sometimes the affect is positive, sometimes negative.
Context can be all or any combination of the following:
cultural heritage
school
day care
church
a parent's work world
Add
interconnected relationships between all these different spheres
Don't forget the affects of
the media
books, computers, radio, TV, videos, movies, advertising
the country they live in or the country of origin
world, national, and community events
Family customs, values, traditions
I don't remember if they mentioned this but I imagine leadership styles at home and
in all the other spheres in a child's life will affect him or her, especially if they're in conflict with one another. They touched that a little - the conflicts that can occur between the different influences in a child's life.
I was especially impressed by the authors' sensitivity to the historic context of the faith community to which a child belongs. They encourage not only the exchange of personal stories, community stories, stories about the role of this particular faith community in the larger community, but hunting for stories about the children's ministry there. Whether you love history or hate it, those who come before us affect our lives and our work today. It's worth taking the time to understand the "how."
They noticed that Moses couldn't help but be affected by bi-cultural influences. I'm guessing there are probably examples in scripture of most any situation we can think of if we're willing to take the time to go looking.
I liked their attention and sensitivity to the visual images and symbols that we use to communicate faith to children.
It's an interesting chapter. Context is always part of our lives but not necessarily something we think about.
How 'bout you? How did context affect your faith, as a child? How does it affect the children around you, now?
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Returning to Children Matter
I'm still reading Children Matter, slowly because I get distracted.
I like reading about Biblical culture and how other historic cultures influence our own. I like history so historic roots are always interesting to me. Sometimes church leaders affect how society responds to children (CM pg. 98) Sometimes society affects how the church responds to children.
It's interesting to discover where ideas come from and where they lead over time. It's interesting to see what fruit grows from what seed.
I found it interesting that Dr. Benjamin Spock's thinking was probably a reaction to John Watson's behavioural psychology which was a reaction to Victorian sentimentality. Our parents were enamored with Spock but (if I remember correctly) he was criticized for his leniency. I didn't realize that he was encouraging parents to trust themselves. "He assured them that parents were the true experts on their own children...Spock urged parents to be flexible and see their children as individuals." (CM p. 108)
Another intersting comment is this: "Although books on parenting are not directed toward programs that minister to children, parenting expectations in the society at large spilled over into the way Christian Education was conducted." (CM p. 108) More recently, in Postmodern Children's Ministry Ivy Beckwith calls Christian educators to pay attention to changes in the way a new generation of parents is thinking and respond.
A year or two ago someone left a comment. I think they were in Alabama. They decided to take the challenge of using this book for a parent study group. I don't remember ever hearing how it went. (Maybe I just don't remember.) . Some of the chapters are divided into sections that might take more than a week to discuss but this book would make for a really interesting weekly discussion
The authors conclude Chapter 5 saying "Children's ministry is solidly grounded in our theological understanding of the gospel of Christ and the place of children in the community of faith. The challenge is to keep central our commitment to the God of the Scriptures while connecting to the real lives of children in ways that are meaningful for them - to determine what God expects of us in and for our time." (CM p. 110-111) I like it.
Do God's expectations for parents and faith communities change as history runs it's course? Will we inevitably find ourselves sifting through all the voices around us to find the voice that doesn't change? I wonder...
I like reading about Biblical culture and how other historic cultures influence our own. I like history so historic roots are always interesting to me. Sometimes church leaders affect how society responds to children (CM pg. 98) Sometimes society affects how the church responds to children.
It's interesting to discover where ideas come from and where they lead over time. It's interesting to see what fruit grows from what seed.
I found it interesting that Dr. Benjamin Spock's thinking was probably a reaction to John Watson's behavioural psychology which was a reaction to Victorian sentimentality. Our parents were enamored with Spock but (if I remember correctly) he was criticized for his leniency. I didn't realize that he was encouraging parents to trust themselves. "He assured them that parents were the true experts on their own children...Spock urged parents to be flexible and see their children as individuals." (CM p. 108)
Another intersting comment is this: "Although books on parenting are not directed toward programs that minister to children, parenting expectations in the society at large spilled over into the way Christian Education was conducted." (CM p. 108) More recently, in Postmodern Children's Ministry Ivy Beckwith calls Christian educators to pay attention to changes in the way a new generation of parents is thinking and respond.
A year or two ago someone left a comment. I think they were in Alabama. They decided to take the challenge of using this book for a parent study group. I don't remember ever hearing how it went. (Maybe I just don't remember.) . Some of the chapters are divided into sections that might take more than a week to discuss but this book would make for a really interesting weekly discussion
The authors conclude Chapter 5 saying "Children's ministry is solidly grounded in our theological understanding of the gospel of Christ and the place of children in the community of faith. The challenge is to keep central our commitment to the God of the Scriptures while connecting to the real lives of children in ways that are meaningful for them - to determine what God expects of us in and for our time." (CM p. 110-111) I like it.
Do God's expectations for parents and faith communities change as history runs it's course? Will we inevitably find ourselves sifting through all the voices around us to find the voice that doesn't change? I wonder...
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
CM "Come and See!"
I read more Children Matter, through chapter 4, today. We have a wonderful doctor but you wait a LONG time.
The authors look at Jesus and the disciples, asking how did Jesus' disciples become Christian? How do children become Christian?
If we take the "Come and see" approach that Jesus took or even focus on very simple interactions that welcome and bless, how would it change how we share faith with our students and our children? Would it change our priorities? How?
On what would you base a "Come and see" approach to knowing God and meeting Jesus? What would you need?
The authors look at Jesus and the disciples, asking how did Jesus' disciples become Christian? How do children become Christian?
If we take the "Come and see" approach that Jesus took or even focus on very simple interactions that welcome and bless, how would it change how we share faith with our students and our children? Would it change our priorities? How?
On what would you base a "Come and see" approach to knowing God and meeting Jesus? What would you need?
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