Non-verbal

I'll be reading Children's Spirituality for a LONG time and probably just sharing random thoughts that jump out at me. I'm revising these last two posts. They're weren't helpful, so let's try this:

"Children are better than adults at tracking relationships without language, because they are not yet as dependent on language as adults. This relational consciousness is a profound part of their spirituality." Jerome W. Berryman* "Children and Mature Spirituality." Children's Spirituality. Cascade Books, Eugene OR: 2004, p 29

God is relational. Children are relational. Before they ever learn language, they're still learning about their world and tracking relationships without yet having mastered the words to linguistically define their experiences.

One of the reasons to bring babies to worship is the association between their bond with their parents and a bond with a heavenly Father. Is a baby cognitively thinking like this? Probably not. It's experiential. It's affective. It's sensory. It's still a very real experience that will shape them. And they are learning things, non-verbally. Yes, the "positive" of this assumes a strong postive bond, between parent and child.

Parents and children at odds before they ever get to worship can go one of three ways, things get better, they stay the same, or they get worse. Another discussion.

If you have a screaming baby, obviously no one will be able to worship. Warm, fed, healthy babies who aren't fighting with colic usually do fine. Other people holding that baby during worship. Different, but still a positive experience. It gives mom or dad a break and it grows something positive between the baby and other members of his/her faith community. You work around those moments (or months) of separation anxiety.

Toddlers are more challenging. Walking, talking babes-in-motion! But they're tracking the same relationship non-verbally and are perhaps more aware of separation. They will also make the association that going to worship with someone who cares about them is a good thing. If a parent gets too stressed, having friends or older kids distract them or follow them around when it's appropriate helps alot. Yes, babies and toddlers left in the nursery usually settle down and yes, they learn that the parent returns. Yes, it gives the parent a break and lets them focus on worship. Is one better than the other? Relationally, they send different non-verbal messages.
From watching Ukrainian extended families in worship, I'd assume that in the OT babies and toddlers were familiar with many family members of different ages and got passed around alot during worship.

Somewhere I also read something implying that babies non-verbally encounter God, but of course they can't tell you about it and they probably won't remember.


*Jerome Berryman is the Executive Director of the Center for the Theology of Childhood. He has also written Godly Play & Teaching Godly Play.